Awards

[susanstinson]

I lost! I cried and cried. I took it hard.

I kept crying (off and on) for days. I was deeply consoled by magnificent friends, spectacularly generous and attentive strangers, ordinary human kindness, and -- wowsa -- talented entertainers and great Broadway plays. Also, I got many, many compliments on my outfits.

My friends Judy Frank (Crybaby Butch) and Alison Smith (Name All the Animals) won -- yay! and so did Greg and Ian of Suspect Thoughts Press. I came home with more great stories than I know what to do with (or have time to write), and hope to tell more, but for now:

• Somebody introduce me to Lea Delaria, please! We'd like each other. I'm sure of it. She was a GREAT emcee, and she only realized at 2 pm that afternoon that the ceremony was on Thursday instead of Saturday...


• Jessica Lange is brilliant as the mother in The Glass Menagerie. Her skin changed color with the emotions of the play -- I was seriously feeling it with her. I hadn't ever seen this play, but there was a line at the end that I remembered so wrenchingly and clearly from reading it in high school, after the brother leaves his desperate family, when his fragile sister, Laura, who he loves and doesn't save, is still kneeling on the stage in candlelight, and he, as the long distant narrator, says, "I tried to leave you, Laura, but it turns out that I was more loyal than I intended." Breaks your heart!


• The Spelling Bee, a musical with songs by the brilliant William Finn and a wonderful, funny book by my friend Alison's friend Rachel Sheinkin was so so so so so good! Fat people, fairies, nerds and weirdos of all description should absolutely see it. And all these desperate, funny, strange kids who really, really, really want to win a spelling bee made me sob throughout. Oh, my good, the fat boy with the collapsed nasal passage who has to spell out the words with his foot! He was up for a Tony, and I hope he won! It was cathartic! It was perfect! My friends who treated me to both of these plays (and much else) absolutely transformed the ways I dealt with how much having my book lose turned out to hurt.
  

If I won, I wanted to thank middle-aged lesbians, home economists, men who like dresses, and fat girls (some of various categories by name). Then, I wanted to say this:

I'd like to thank all of the writers in the room and in my life for all of the gorgeous, persistent, foolish, profound work. I know it's not easy, but these books, these stories, give regular shocks of much needed life to a numb but still aching world.

I didn't get to say it to them, but I'll say it to you. Thanks, gang.



WINNERS ANNOUNCED FOR
17TH ANNUAL LAMBDA LITERARY AWARDS
AT NEW YORK GALA CEREMONY


June 3, 2005, New York, NY - The recipients of the 17th Annual LambdaLiterary Awards were announced last night at a gala ceremony in New York City emceed by comedian and Broadway actress Lea Delaria during the BookExpo America convention. The awards celebrate achievements in lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) literature for books published in 2004.

A $1,000 prize made possible by the Board of Trustees of the Lambda Literary Foundation, which organizes the Awards, was awarded to the recipient of awards in each of two new categories: The Trustees Award for Gay Men's Debut Fiction Award was given to actor, model, producer and writer Blair Mastbaum, for his novel Clay's Way (Alyson). The Lesbian Debut Fiction Award was given to Judith Frank, who drew on her experience as an adult literacy tutor to write her first novel Cry Baby Butch (Firebrand). A $500 prize was awarded to Bella Books for The Independent LGBT Press Award.

The Gay Men's Fiction Award was given to Booker Prize finalist Colm Tibn for The Master (Scribner), a fictionalized study of the interior life of novelist Henry James, and The Lesbian Fiction Award was given to Village Voice writer and novelist Stacey D'Erasmo for A Seahorse Year (Houghton Mifflin), which follows a San Francisco family coping with a 16-year-old son's mental illness. Winners in the above categories, and eighteen others, received a crystal trophy.

Comedian and Broadway actress Lea Delaria recounted the widely covered story of her last public appearance, a May 14 benefit for the AIDS Assistance Program in Palm Springs, in which organizers shut off her microphone and dragged her off stage for her Bush-Bashing jokes. The audience of The Lambda Literary Awards, several of whom showed up sporting "Impeach Bush" buttons, gave Delaria quite the opposite reception, by bursting into rousing applause and laughter throughout the night.

In her acceptance speech for The Bridge Builder Award, Vagina Monologues author Eve Ensler said that "creating better understanding between gays and straights is less about building bridges and more about excavating the crud between us."

When New York Times bestselling Eleanor Roosevelt-biographer Blanche Weisen Cooke accepted the Pioneer Award, she told a story to make the point that two butches can't dance, but Lea Delaria proved her wrong by waltzing with her onstage.

Among the award presenters were Style TV drag talk show host Brini Maxwell presenting the Humor Award, and porn star turned poet Aiden Shaw presenting the Erotica Award, as well as Broadway writer and performer Charles Busch, who when presenting the memoirs category joked that among his favorite memoirs were those by Suzanne Sommers and Mary Lou Henner.

The Lambda Literary Awards recognize and honor the best in lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender literature. From hundreds of books nominated by their publishers and other authorized agents, five nominees were selected in each of 20 categories. Panels of judges in each category, chosen to represent the diversity of the LGBT literary community, determined the final winner from the finalists.

The Lambda Literary Awards are produced by the non-profit Lambda Literary Foundation (http://en.groundspring.org/EmailNow/pub.php?module=URLTracker&cmd=track&j=32552994&u=296710)
Photos will be posted on Lambda Literary Foundation website soon.

Award Recipients:

The Trustees Award for Debut Gay Men's Fiction
Clay's Way by Blair Mastbaum, Alyson

The Trustees Award for Debut Lesbian Fiction

Crybaby Butch by Judith Frank, Firebrand

Gay Men's Fiction

The Master by Colm Tibn, Scribner

Lesbian Fiction

A Seahorse Year by Stacey D'Erasmo, Houghton Mifflin

Lesbian Poetry

Sweet to Burn by Beverly Burch, Gival Press

Gay Men's Poetry

Written in Water by Luis Cernuda, City Lights Publishers

Lesbian mystery

Hancock Park by Katherine V. Forrest, Berkley Prime Crime/Penguin Group USA

Gay Men's Mystery

Flight of Aquavit by Anthony Bidulka, Insomniac Press

Fiction Anthology

Fresh Men: New Voices in Gay Fiction selected by Edmund White, edited by Donald Weise, Carroll & Graff

Nonfiction Anthology

I Do/I Don't: Queers on Marriage edited by Greg Wharton and Ian Philips, Suspect Thoughts Press

Memoir

Name All the Animals by Alison Smith, Scribner

Biography

Warrior Poet: A Biography of Audre Lorde by Alexis De Veaux, W.W. Norton

Children's / Young Adult

So Hard to Say by Alex Sanchez, Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers

Erotica

Best Gay Erotica 2005 edited by Richard Labonte, Cleis Press

Humor

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris, Little, Brown

Romance

Almost Like Being in Love by Steven Kluger, HarperCollins

Scifi/fan/horror

The Ordinary by Jim Grimsley, Tor Books

Spirituality

Jesus and the Shamanic Tradition of Same-Sex Love by Will Roscoe, Suspect Thoughts Press

Drama / Theater

I am My Own Wife by Doug Wright, Farrar, Straus & Giroux

Visual Arts/Photography

At Ease: Navy Men of World War II by Evan Bachner, Harry Abrams

LGBT Studies

For the Love of Women: Gender, Identity and Same-Sex Relations in a Greek Provincial Town by Elisabeth Kirtsoglou, Routledge

Transgender

The Gender Frontier by Mariette Pathy Allen, Kehrer Verlag
The 2004 Lambda Literary Awards were sponsored by:
CLAGS
The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center
The Haworth Press / Harrington Park Press
The American Booksellers Association
Bella Books
TLABooks.com
Kensington
Insight Out Books
Mercedes-Benz
The Pilgrim Press
The Arch and Bruce Brown Foundation
One in Ten
Brother, Help Thyself
Gival Press
DREAMWalker Group
The Publishing Triangle
Books to Watch Out For



Jim Marks, Executive Director
Lambda Literary Foundation
PO Box 73910
Washington, DC 20056
202-682-0952

Programs of the Lambda Literary Foundation include:
The Lambda Book Report, The Lambda Literary Awards, The James White Review and the Lambda Literary Festival
http://en.groundspring.org/EmailNow/pub.php?module=URLTracker&cmd=track&j=32552994&u=296711

Comments

[charlottecooper.livejournal.com]

You lost? You didn't get the big prize but that's not losing, in my opinion. You're still a finalist.

I'm sorry it was a painful experience and I hope the disappointment is subsiding. These events are a bitch for the non-winners.

I was once a runner-up in a literary prizegiving thing. I won £100, which was a lot of money to me at the time. The winner won £1000, which was supposed to pay for time to write the novel she had exerpted. In retrospect I'm glad I came away with the smaller prize, it meant less pressure on me, and enabled me to write my longer piece at my own tempo *and* I could spend my money as I wished and not have to be careful with it for the sake of my writing career. Plus, us "losers" instantly had each other, whereas the winner seemed lonely and vulnerable having scooped the prize.

K said to me last night: "If you won anything your acceptance speech would be: 'I'm the winner! I'm the best! Look at me! I'm the winner!'" Hurrumph.

[susanstinson.livejournal.com]

I'm feeling very fond of you, and also argumentative.

When there's a competition in which some people win, the other people in the running who don't win, I'm pretty clear, those people lost. One of my friends tried to argue with me when I said that I was a big fat loser, but, technically, really, in the context at hand, I have an airtight case on that one. It's all in what I do with it! (imagine a little flounce of my big hips with my cute little skirt about now)

But, you're right, there are a lot of great things that come with being a finalist. And I did, I had quite an unexpectedly, raucously fun conversation with someone else who didn't win in another category -- I really liked him. And various friends and winners and strangers were unbelievably kind and interesting and subtle and honest in their responses to my sadness (and/or my pluckiness, depending). It felt kind of lovely, actually, in a messy, crying way, to have an official and appropriate time and place to be very sad and demonstrative about the ways my books have been overlooked -- again, not to slight the lovely attention that came with being published, being a finalist, all of that, but, of course, there's always more to want -- takes away its power as a secret smoldering resentment, and lets me keep moving more directly towards the things I want.

K said to me last night: "If you won anything your acceptance speech would be: 'I'm the winner! I'm the best! Look at me! I'm the winner!'"

THAT'S fabulous! I can just hear you saying it!

[charlottecooper.livejournal.com]

I don't think of you as a loser, but I understand what you're saying.

What would have been different if you'd won?

[susanstinson.livejournal.com]

Can I just thank you again for your active, pubic and private, tenacious praise and appreciation for my work? Over years! It's a truly beautiful thing.

It's important and true -- I don't think of myself as a loser, either. My life is full of amazing pleasures and possibilities and potential diligently and gorgeously explored. And great rewards and praise. My friend Elizabeth heard in Paris that I looked smashing in my dress at the Lammies! It's just that, in this case, my book, which I love very fiercely and have fought to bring into this world in a bunch of ways, didn't win. Venus of Chalk lost.

I'm not sure what differences winning might have brought, but one thing would have been greater visibility. People who like books tend to respond warmly to my books once they read them, but most people, even in the queer publishing world, have never heard of them or dismiss what they hear based on various stereotypes. Winning the Lammy might move them to take a second look or actually pick up the book. Concretely, the book would be listed on the Lambda site as a winner, it would be mentioned prominently in their press release (especially in this category), and I could quickly convey that this is an excellent book with a market of people interested in it by mentioning that I won the award.

And, then, there's the emotional stuff. It's an honor. It's an appreciation. It's a marker that says, keep going, keep fighting, it's not easy, but people, at least the literary queers, love and value what you do. Keep doing it. Truth is, my brother called me from Amarillo in his car (it's where I was born, and he said he'd been looking for historical plaques in my honor, but hadn't spotted one yet) -- he was in the course of driving his new paintings to a show at a gallery in San Antonio -- he told me that after big successes of that time he'd actually predict a huge emotional crash. Because, as much as I think I wanted it and as much as it really would help me continue to do my work, those kinds of honors are so articificial and just can't even begin to compare to the satisfactions of actually doing the work. And, oh, thank God, there, in the writing, this silly distinctions, ranking and winning and losing, all of that stuff truly are irrelevant, and, in fact, have to be set aside (or else grappled with in a deep and/or entertaining way) in order for the real risky, adventurous, beautiful work to go on.

[susanstinson.livejournal.com]

Um, public and private. Ahem. That's what I meant.

[charlottecooper.livejournal.com]

Pubic's fine by me!

Our mutual riend lovelikeyeast continues to make me snigger with her smutty name for Detroit's celebrated Pewabic Pottery - of course by rights it should be known as the Pubic Pottery. Tee hee.

[susanstinson.livejournal.com]

Our mutual fiend lovelikeyeast is witty. The word pubic is almost always funny.

[charlottecooper.livejournal.com]

Maybe even without the winning you can still strive to make your work more public. Perhaps winning the Lammy would have pushed your work into another pigeonhole too ("the lesbian author" instead or as well as "the fat author"). Its hard to be denied of the pats on the back and marketing stuff, but you are already a great advocate for your work, you can learn how to market your own stuff further, and hey, look at your fans, they're still here loving your work without this award plonked on it. So yeah, keep doing it, keep going. That's right.

[susanstinson.livejournal.com]

It's true. You're right. Here I go. Kisses.

Losing at the Lammys

[scottynola.livejournal.com]

Susan, m'dear:

Sarah Schulman, Leslea Newman, Andrew Holleran, Michael Cunningham, Felice Picano, Ethan Mordden, Alan Hollinghurst, Elizabeth Stark, Jay Quinn, Victoria Brownworth, and I can't even begin to name how many truly fine and talented writers have never won a competitive Lammy...Dorothy Allison wasn't even nominated for Bastard Out of Carolina.

So, as 'Lammy losers', we're in pretty fucking good company.

And your book was beautiful, moving, and charming. Almost lyrical and breathtaking in its deep emotional heart.

And I think I'd rather hang out with us!!!

Re: Losing at the Lammys

[susanstinson.livejournal.com]

And your book was beautiful, moving, and charming. Almost lyrical and breathtaking in its deep emotional heart.

Oh my. Oh. Thank you.

That's a lovely thing to say, and it's what I wanted my book to do.

Definitely in good company -- and good to hang out with. I'm kind of stuttering from feeling that praise for the book. Thank you kindly.