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I got the grant check from the Money for Women/Barbara Deming Memorial Fund today, along with a copy of a letter Barbara Deming wrote just before she died. It's dated July 21, 1984, and is a lovely human document. Among other things, she says, "I won't lose you when I die and I won't leave you when I die." As I type that, I wonder if such things can really be promised, but I find the impulse to say them beautiful and generous, both. The fund is partially endowed by her estate.
One of the things she said in her published writing was:
The longer we listen to one another - with real attention - the more commonality we will find in all our lives. That is, if we are careful to exchange with one another life stories and not simply opinions.
Commonality doesn't work, I think, as the only thing to be looking for in other human beings, but I've seen the strategy of exchanging stories instead of ideological statements get people pretty far.
The Deming Fund will have a new address as of July: PO Box 309, Wilton, NH 03086
One of the things she said in her published writing was:
The longer we listen to one another - with real attention - the more commonality we will find in all our lives. That is, if we are careful to exchange with one another life stories and not simply opinions.
Commonality doesn't work, I think, as the only thing to be looking for in other human beings, but I've seen the strategy of exchanging stories instead of ideological statements get people pretty far.
The Deming Fund will have a new address as of July: PO Box 309, Wilton, NH 03086